Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
