this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
