You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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