i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
