Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
