apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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