hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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