On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
