Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i believe in u and ur pee
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
