I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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