you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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