so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
