It's Friday. Sex?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
