And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
