remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I bet he comes in French.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
