Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
