He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
