What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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