i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
