Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
