You smell like a Billy Joel song
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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