i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
