So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
