Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it because I queefed?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
