I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
