I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
