I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
