how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
