I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
