i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
