Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
