I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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