White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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