You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We have started to decorate penises.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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