Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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