Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
