I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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