half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
