I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
