dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You took a bar mat shot.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
