A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
