Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
