Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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