So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
