trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just google imaged poop.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
