She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
