She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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