I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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