the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
