hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
