CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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