I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
