He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
